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深圳中英翻译【翻译技巧】非文学汉英翻译的注意事项

2021-09-09 11:17:28

深圳中英翻译【翻译技巧】非文学汉英翻译的注意事项

避免悬垂修饰语(Dangling modifier)


悬垂修饰语与修饰成分没有正确的逻辑关系,往往会使读者产生歧义。


1. 求解该方程可以得到临界温度。


错误译法:Solving this equation can receive the critical temperature.


解析:

solving this equation 不能作为 receive 的主语。


2. 在营地安装办公设备时,其电动机控制盘应装在配电室内。


错误译法:When installing office equipment in the camp, its electric motor control panel should be installed in the switchboard rooms. (×)


正确译法:When installing office equipment in the camp, install its electric motor control panel in the switchboard rooms. (√)


分词、动名词、不定式结构的逻辑主语必须与主句的真实主语一致。改正悬垂修饰语的方法是理顺句子真实主语与分词逻辑主语的关系,可添加或明确逻辑上的动作执行者,也可把分词结构改为从句。


注意区分悬垂分词和独立主格,后者是符合语法要求的。悬垂分词是要修饰剧中的某个成分,而独立主格中的从句不修饰任何名词。


独立主格的例句:


Summer coming, we plan to go to the beach. (夏天来了,我们打算去沙滩。)


02

避免名词化(Nominalization),尽量使用主动语态。


除表示客观的正式法律、合同等文本外,在其他类型的文本中,能直接用动词表达的情况下避免使用名词或动名词,尽量去除被动语态。


两个翻译原则


character应该放在主语的位置上

(The subjects of the sentences name the cast of characters.)



伴随character的动词一定是character的actions

(The verbs that go with those subjects name the crucial actions.)



根据这两个原则,我们可以找到一个句子的character和action,然后分别放在主语和动词的位置上。


① We discussed the problem.


② The problem was the topic of our discussion.


其中,we是character, discussed是action,the problem是宾语。


①句将character放在了主语的位置上,将action放在了动词的位置上。但是②句的主语是the problem,动词是was,不符合原则,所以②句显得更难懂。


1.  委员会不指望能在最后期限前完成。


错误译法:


The committee has no expectation that it will meet the deadline. (×)



正确译法:The committee does not expect to meet the deadline. (√)


2. 委员会决定就实施工作场所多样性计划进行可行性研究。


错误译法:It was decided by the committee that the issue of implementing a workplace diversity plan would need to be examined in a feasibility study. (×)




正确译法:The committee decided to conduct a feasibility study about implementing a workplace diversity plan. (√)



注意:以下情景下可使用被动语态,避免使用第二人称或祈使句:


动作的执行者未知,或者执行者与事件无关;


使用被动语态来强调重点;


使用第二人称或祈使句时会使读者感到不礼貌;


为表达客观事实,大量使用描述性文字,如介绍产品的功能时;


常用的固定被动句型,如The records have been imported successfully.


03

避免冗余。


面向读者的翻译必应简单明了,所以尽量不要使用迂回冗长的句子,应剔除不必要的词汇。



冗余句子大多有以下特征:


使用拐弯抹角的表达,如during the course of(→during)、due to the fact that(→because);


使用累赘修饰语,造成语义重复。中文中常会出现“对应的、具体的、相关的、完全的、各种”等形容词/副词,翻译时没有必要都转换成对应英文,可省略没有意义的冗余词汇。如completely correct(→correct)、sequential steps(→steps);


使用大量词组、短语,如blue in color(→blue)、a large one(→large);


使用不必要的there be句型,如There are certain signals that are faulty. (→Certain signals are faulty.)


错误:The ABC000 is a piece of equipment that integrates .... (×)


The ABC000 integrates .... (√)


错误:In regard to men-women relationships, there is the greatest change occurring in the way men and women seem to be working next to one another. (×)




Men and women have changed their relationships most in the way they work together. (√)


04

小心由多个名词组成的长定语。


在多个形容成分并列修饰一个名词时,应保证修饰关系清晰易懂,避免多名词或多形容词的修饰方式,它们会使读者花费精力理解修饰关系,难以找到中心词。


1. 错误:the input message destination transaction code (×)


正确:the transaction code for the destination of an input message (√)


2. 不熟悉最新的相关研究文献是童年早期思维障碍误诊的原因。


错误译法:

Early childhood thought disorder misdiagnosis often occurs because of unfamiliarity with recent research literature describing such conditions. (×)


Early childhood thought disorder(n.) misdiagnosis(n.)


可改为misdiagnose(v.) disordered(adj.) thought in early childhood


正确译法:


Physicians are misdiagnosing disordered thought in young children because they are not familiar with the literature on recent research. (√)


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